Investing in Therapy is Investing in Yourself
One of the fundamental elements of our humanity is the certainty that we are wired to connect with one another. In fact, our first experience of another human being is our absolute dependence upon that human being. Bound together by biology, we are shaped by connection and unless there is a serious rupture we are compelled over and over again to connect with others.
Though we are wired to connect, it is the sustaining of relationship that provides one of the primary challenges of our lifetime. Because of the naturalness of connection, the magic elixir of need and the alchemy of attraction, we assume relationships should be easy to sustain. However, the challenge really never goes away, does it? Anyone who is over twelve years old has experienced the effort it takes to maintain cordial, deep, lasting, genuine and respectful relationships. I use these qualities because I am not interested in participating in the opposite: hurtful, superficial, demeaning or disrespectful.
We can assert we want loving and mutually satisfying relationships but the day-to-day barriers to maintaining them oftentimes is beyond our abilities to uphold. This is where therapy can help. I chose the headline for my web site “The Courage to Love: Love inspires us. Relationships challenge us “ as it speaks to this very issue. We feel the yearning to connect, imagine the pleasure of acceptance and then slam into the reality of the work of being in a relationship.
This is why we need to develop the skills which promote the art of living and loving.
Most people possess some kind of skill which they have worked to develop: computer coding, accounting, car repair, musicianship, crafting, cooking, skiing, cycling, teaching, on and on it goes. These skills help us to maneuver in the world and define our quality of life. They provide our vocations and avocations. They help to define who we are by how we spend our time. To get those skills whether we utilize them as a means to support ourselves either financially or spiritually or emotionally, we invest time and money to develop them. We attend college or trade school or participate in apprenticeships or residencies to develop the skills we need to develop a meaningful career. Whether it’s a vocation or an avocation, we invest time and money to develop the life we want. We save and invest our time and money to buy a home and make it a place where we can be safe and comfortable. All of this takes effort. All of these efforts are a form of investment and no on expects significant returns to actualize overnight and without effort. The same is true for living in a meaningful relationship. It is an investment.
A therapist, the right therapist is your teacher, your coach, your advocate, your drill sergeant, your pastor and your personal trainer. This time and money is about investing in yourself and your ability to create and maintain meaningful relationships with yourself, your friends, your colleges, and your loved ones.
I think this is a worthy investment.
And invite you to do the same.